Mattie Givens writes at Growing The Givens and we connected at a blogger retreat last August. It was such a delight to chat with her and I am thrilled to have her share words here on the blog today.
There have been many seasons in my life where I have waited for something tangible.
I waited for timing to work out between me and my high school boyfriend before we finally got back together before college graduation and then got married a year later.
I waited patiently as an intern before landing my dream job working in for an NFL team.
I waited for what felt like redemption from God as he blessed me with a healthy baby after my first pregnancy ended with a D&E after 22 weeks.
I waited for guidance as my husband and I decided where to move after losing our home to a flood (for the second time) during Hurricane Harvey.
In each of those seasons of waiting, God has come through for me. He helped guide me through friends who acted as wise counsel as I made decisions. God sent me messages through His word as I studied the Bible. I also think God even sent me a flood to get me out of the neighborhood I was in, and into a neighborhood where my family is thriving.
God has proven that he will come through for me time and time again, even if it isn’t always in the way that I thought was best.
Yet, I still continue to wait for Stability. It is a lesson I find I have to relearn quite often. That stability is not found in anything that this world can offer me. Not a husband, or my job, or kids, or a safe home.
Stability is only found in the Lord.
And he has shown me that.
So why do I still feel like I am waiting for sticky notes to prove that God cares about my security?
Recently, my family became a family of 4. We had a little son and he is just the sweetest. His big sister is almost 3 and is a great helper (as much as a toddler can be).
And this little addition to our family has completely changed up all of my routines, the way I manage the time for our family, our budget, and the way that my husband and I communicate.
We are having to relearn all of those things and it feels incredibly unstable.
Certainly, I can feel so blessed by the idea that our family has grown and that we have the means to provide for both of our kids. Which almost makes me feel even more guilty for feeling stressed out by this transition.
And I have almost let this stress take out all of the joy that comes with having a newborn in your life. Which is most definitely not what God intended for me.
I listened to Beth Moore speak a few weeks ago and she said something that spoke to me in a way that only God’s word can.
She was talking about ways to keep ourselves from getting so wrapped up in ourselves that we stop looking to God.
“Stop doing the thing that undoes you.” (Beth Moore)
To me, that was such a clear directive for me to stop acting like I was the one who was in control and needed to have all of the answers. Because I can never live up to that standard. And each time I realized I didn’t have it all under control or have all the answers (which was daily, because motherhood), I was feeling like an absolute failure.
By entrusting God to provide stability for me and my family, and allowing me to rid myself of that pressure, I could stop doing the thing that undid me.
Giving up that responsibility to God could allow me to celebrate the blessings God had given me. To look upon Him once again as a provider and a protector. To trust in Him again as the creator of the world and know that He does in fact care about the small things that stress me out.
With those simple words from Beth Moore, God was clear to me that he was providing me Stability, even if it didn’t look exactly how I wanted it to. And I could only receive that feeling of stability if I would just stop getting in my own way.
God leaves us little messages in so many ways. I am sure He tried to tell me to give Him control in several different ways during this most recent – I can look back and see my husband helping God pass along this message, but was a little too stubborn for that.
I am grateful that God leaves us so many little sticky notes. And I am grateful that he is patient with us when we take a little extra time to notice them!
Mattie is a working mom and overly excited Enneagram 7 who blogs at Growing The Givens. She has a passion for helping women set great goals and finding time in their busy schedules to achieve those goals. You can find productivity tips, marriage goal setting plans and resources to manage all that life throws at you on her blog or by following Mattie on Instagram!