TV = Drug, I’m OK with that

Ask me what I’m doing right now. Go ahead…ask.

“Hey, Misty, what are you doing right now?”

Oh me. I’m binge watching episodes from Season 4 of Scandal. I watched all of Season 1-3 over the last two weeks. It’s a great show.

“Hmm…awesome. You must really be into that show.”

Oh yeah, sure. It really is good. But really, I’m addicted. That’s the truth. I’m addicted to TV. I’m using it like a drug to escape reality. That’s the honest to goodness truth about what is happening. My husband has been asking me forever why I watch so much TV. Today, I figured it out.

It is my drug.

Truthfully, I’ve known this for a while. And truthfully, I won’t be completing any 12-step programs to end it anytime soon. Because, I’m not ready.

My son died. October 27, 2014. That is the day he came into the world, physically. The world where I could hold him in my arms and not just in my womb. But he didn’t breathe…ever. I have to find a way to be OK with that. And I will. Someday. But it won’t be today. Today, I’m going to continue to pay attention to my husband and my daughters, love them, grieve, and escape with my drug – which for now, is harmless and it’s working.

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