When in Doubt…

When in Doubt…


Today, I read the story of Thomas in John 20. You’re likely familiar with “Doubting Thomas”, a disciple of Jesus, who said that he wouldn’t believe Jesus had risen from the dead unless he saw the scars with his own eyes. I’ve been there. Flash to this…child enters bedroom prepared to be tucked in for the night. Mom, “Did you brush your teeth.”

“Yes,” the child answers.

“You sure?” Mom questions.

“Yes,” the child responds confidently.

“Lemme smell your breath,” or the safer version, “Lemme check your toothbrush.”

Child quickly scurries to the bathroom in order to actually brush teeth because clearly mom is not playing – she wanted proof! Thomas is feeling the same way. Whether he was a natural skeptic or just a guy who thought this might be too good to be true, he wanted to see the proof.

Don’t you naturally want to see God move physically in order to answer your simple questions? Your mild requests? Your desperate pleas? Yup. Me too. I titled this blog because I spent most of my life journaling and praying for God to leave a sticky note on the mirror with advice or direction on what to do next.  I’d get annoyed and then mad when he didn’t. Hello, God! Moses got a bush and a cloud and fire, Adam and Eve got to walk with you physically, Mary got an angel. I’m not asking for much here, just a note stuck to my mirror or the wall, whatever. I’m flexible. Nada. For years. I got nothing.

Then, a revelation. God still speaks through scripture. I’ve been puzzled over the “what to do next” question for most of my life. This morning while I prayed through that I was lead to Thomas. He wasn’t asking for a sticky pink office supply, but he did want proof. Proof that what he heard was real. This is exactly what the Lord does through scripture. I was reminded that even though I heard nothing by crickets for now, Matthew 26:25-33 was still real as ever.

25Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear… 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry,33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.Matthew 6_33

Seriously, the birds and the flowers? He must care more for me, as he made me in his image. Scripture says, “Thomas saw [the scars] and believed.” and I thought. What have i seen as proof? What are the things I’ve witnessed that prove God is who He says and his promises are legit. So I made a list. (Big surprise, my love for office supplies and checklists runs deep, you guys. Deep.) I listed all of the things: from meeting my husband, to protection during my rainbow pregnancy with Koen, keeping me safe during the tragedy of losing John Karl (there was a very real possibility I could not have physically survived that pregnancy & we didn’t even know), and even placing just the right friend in my life’s path at just the right time.

What do you got? What’s on your list of proof. If you were feeling like Thomas, I mean. *wink wink*

Leave a Reply